Smasher Lagru

Swim Ireland were pleased to announced that their logo for the olympics had been chosen by the new bishop of Down and Connor for the top of his crozier.  The stylised figure of a girl preparing to dive into the water had been modelled on Pope John Paul's poem, "Metta fuori nel profondo".

I spokesperson for Swim Ireland said - "I'm absolutely thrilled, I mean we only sent it in for a laugh and there it is on top of his big stick.  Hopefully it's a good omen for Beijing.  Now where did I leave my Tetrahydrogestrinone?"

In our previous post, remarks were wrongfully attributed to Barack Hussein Obama.  These remarks were actually made by the Bishop of Down and Connor.  This mistake was due to a fault in our blog editing software.  We apologise for any confusion on the part of our readership and any embarrassment caused to Senator Obama or Bishop Treanor.

Presidential hopeful, B. Hussien Obama, said he looked forward to meeting and working together with those who work in the religious sphere:
“for the common good of all citizens of our society, whilst respecting the principle of separation between the religious and secular spheres".

“That principle of separation, already elicited in St. Matthew’s distinction between what is of God and what is of Caesar, is a cornerstone of democracy,”
 
“Its implementation for the cohesion and vitality of society’s constitutive humus requires exchange of ideas, dialogue and, yes, debate, between these two spheres.

In answer to a question from La Monde, he described the European Union as:
“that historic, unique and precious project".

 

http://www.criticsrant.com/bb/reading_level.aspx




Confirmation, if it be needed, that the tone of Smasher Lagru is infantile.

Suppose it's better than "rancid".

Have a good weekend y'all and enjoy the ordination of the new bishop, those who were lucky enough to get tickets.  If someone would email a full report that would be good.  I'm particularly interested in how many bishops wear mitres.  And how PW behaves afterwards.

I think a rather rambling rant is due today.  There are very few things that annoy me, as regular readers of my blog will testify - one of them is priests wearing ties.  Now what is that all about?  Does Fr Sean Healy of CORI actual possess a Roman collar?

I can fully understand priests dressing in mufti when they're popping out, on holiday, doing sports, going to the cinema or going home to mammy.  But putting on a tie means dressing up, it means being formal and a tie just isn't appropriate.

I was alarmed to read in a Q&A for Brisbane diocese on vocations (yes, it is possible to put actual information into a website on vocations) the following:

In Brisbane Diocese, priests in formal occasions may wear distinctive cross on the lapel or on the tie, with a coat. Naturally, the priest may also wear the clerical collar with coat. Less formal situations might be either a white shirt with crosses on the lapel, tie or, if an open-neck shirt, perhaps crosses on the lapels.

We have an excellent old missionary in my diocese, who spent some years in China before being booted out.    He worked briefly also in Scotland, and when some other priests were going to a Celtic-Rangers match, they suggested he take off the collar, as it might cause hassle.  He said: "Our chaps wore it in China and it cost them dearly, so I won't take it off.  I'd rather stay at home." 

When the collar brought respect and kudos it was worn quick enough and often. 

Anyway, that rant was brought on when I was reading the German edition of Euro Infos, the journal of COMECE and OCIPE and there was a phtograph of bishop-elect Monsignor Treanor in a tie.  I didn't notice any crosses on his tie or lapels, which is just as well, cos he'll not be able to wear those in Down and Connor if Catriona Ruination has her way.



It led me on to thinking about monsignori and the changes Pope VI brought in, with a good intention and a bad result.  In the old days if someone attained a particular curial office (or just hung around long enough) he was awarded with a higher grade of honorary prelature, allowing a rochet or mantelletta or pectoral cross or some such to be worn.  Now, there are no such grades, so what do you do with these chaps.......you make them bishops. Recent examples include the regent of the Papal Household, the Dean of the Roman  Rota, and the prefect of the secret archive.  In the old days they would have been protonotaries ad instar or some such, with the right to wear all sorts of funky stuff.  Now, alas, Holy Orders have been debased to a promotional pat on the head.

Following intense pressure from everyone with a brain and a sense of the sacred, the Irish bishops, including Bishop Maura Hyland of the Diocese of Abbey Street, have decided to do away with First Holy Commuion preparation as found in the Alive-O programme and the parish based, Do This in Mockery of Me programme. 

This half a page in the student's book which focused on notions of "holy bread" baked by a magic witch will be replaced by a focus on Eucharist as the ultimate happy meal.

We stand for the creed.

Letter 1.

Lieber Schulvorsteher,

Ich schreibe, um Sie, dass im nächsten Monat am 20. April wir den Geburtstag von unserem lieben Fuhrer, Adolf Hitler, feiern den Retter zu erinnern von Deutschland.

Als Markierung der Liebe und des Respektes wir haben für ihn, den gut sein würde es, wenn Sie ordnen würden, einen Brief im Namen Ihrer Schule zu schreiben ihm und überschreiten würde auf Ihre wärmsten Glückwünsche und ihm für alles dankend, hat er für Deutschland getan. Ich bin sicher, dass Sie darin übereinstimmen, dass es in den besten Interessen Ihrer Schule, mit diesem Antrag zusammenzuarbeiten sein würde.

Heil Hitler,

Dr. Paul Joseph Goebbels,
Minister für Volksaufklärung und Propaganda

Dear School Principal,

I am writing to remind you that next month, on 20 April, we celebrate the birthday of our dear Fuhrer, Adolf Hitler, the saviour of Germany.

As a mark of the love and respect we have for him it would be good if you would arrange to write a letter to him on behalf of your school, passing on your warmest congratulations and thanking him for everything he has done for Germany.

I am sure you will agree that it would be in the best interests of your school to cooperate with this request.

Heil Hitler,

Dr Paul Joseph Goebbels,
Minister for Public Enlightenment and Propoganda

(Thanks to DMcK for the translation from the German).



Letter 2.

F.O.A. All transport operators,
Bulawayo,

From Tuesday, all minibuses operating services in Bulawayo must display four portraits of President Robert Mugabe (to be placed one on each side and one on the front and the back).

If you fail to comply with this directive you will be refused access to the gasoline being sold at Z$6 billion for five litres at NOCZIM.  You must also allow at least three ZANU (PF) officials to campaign on the buses.

Sikhanyiso Ndlovu,
Zanu (PF),
Mpopoma-Phelandaba.



Letter 3.

Dear School Principal,

I am writing to remind you that later this month, on 29th June, we mark the retirement of Bishop Patrick Walsh, after some 25 years as a bishop, including 17 as bishop of Down and Connor.  During those years he has shown a tremendous commitment to the education system.

As a mark of the love and respect we have for him it would be good if you would arrange to write a letter to him on behalf of your school, passing on your warmest best wishes and thanking him for everything he has done for education.

I am sure you will agree that it would be in the best interests of your school to cooperate with this request.

Very Rev. John Mc Manus,
Press Officer,
Star of the Sea Prebytery.

As you know I keep an eye on the opposition to Summorum Pontificum around the world, well the more blatant examples (such as Bishop Patrick Walsh).

 

From the Province of Québec we have André Rivest, Bishop of Chicoutimi.

 

You can tell a lot from his photograph – the awful grey shirt and plane silver cross, he could almost be Primate of Ireland.

 

Anyway, a group of more than one hundred requested Mass in the Extraordinary Form.  The parish priest passed the request on to the bishop – i.e. wanted someone else to say “no” which the good bishop did on no uncertain terms.  He wrote:

 

Among the criteria put forward by the Holy Father in his Motu Proprio, the bishop must examine whether the persons requesting and the priests themselves have a liturgical training and a ‘certain familiarity’ with the ‘extraordinary form’ of the Latin rite, as well as a good knowledge of the Latin language.

 

So apparently in his diocese you need liturgical training to go to Mass –it is extraordinary.

 

Well, you think, time to appeal to Ecclesia Dei then?   Here’s what the parish priest said:

 

 “It is not the pope who is the first person responsible for pastoral care and the liturgy in the diocese, but the bishop. And the popes usually respect this responsibility, unless there are some very, very, very serious reasons. The pope will certainly not intervene in this affair and will certainly not oblige our bishop to have a Tridentine Mass in the diocese. He will only ask him for additional information and respect his decision. The bishop will have lost time uselessly.”

 

If you would like the bishop to lose more time uselessly you might consider writing to him at diocese.chicoutimi@videotron.net or to his secretary, Annie, at annie.cote@evechedechicoutimi.qc.ca

I've just finished reading The Book Thief by Markus Zusak and I highly recommend it - though I know there are people who will hate it.  It's about a young girl surviving in Nazi Germany. 

It reminded me of The Silver Sword which I read a million times as a child and once or twice as an adult or The Boy David, but I think it's better than both of those.

Now I'm reading  The Telling Year by Malachi O'Doherty about working as a journalist in 1972.  The question is, how did a Catholic from west Belfast end up spelling his name with an "i" instead of a "y".

And of course Cardinal Daly has a new book out The Breaking of Bread: Biblical Reflections which seems a bit more substantial than he previous books of his own sermons and press releases.  I'm not sure how interested I am in prefigurements of the Eucharist in the Old Testament.  But I did enjoy the headline in the Catholic Ireland News Site "Cardinal Daly delighted congress will be in Dublin 2012" - the story makes it seem that Cahal is delighted because it will help sales of his book.  I'm sure that's not the only reason for his delight.

I had been hoping the Pope would force Ireland to host World Youth Day and make the bishops get their fingers out.  Now I have a feeling of dread that it will be like the Year of Vocations.  So lets kick off ideas for the Congress - some special events:

Day one:  a great bonfire of all Alive-O materials.

You know the way in scary movies no matter how many times you thought you'd killed the bad guy he keeps coming back? You bludgeon him, throw him down the stairs, stick a stake through him, shoot him multiple times and yet there he is again.  What do we have to do to these guys?  Cut their heads off is probably a good idea.

So Paddy Walsh, Apostolic Administrator of Down and Connor, the Michael Myers of the ecclesial world, aside from trying to hang on in the education sphere where he's doing a tremendous job (by what measure?) according to Donal Mc K, is gearing up with a list of clerical moves he intends foisting on the new guy as soon as he arrives.  His last chance to punish and reward.  We'll see the measure of Monsignor Treanor by the way he reacts.  Is there a look of Donald Pleasance about him?  Let's hope so.

Does anyone have a list of presbyeries that don't have broadband?