Smasher Lagru

Blessed Al Gore, the Prophet of Doom and Soothsayer of Gloom, has announced plans to save the polar bear.  Launching a new organaisation: Polar Rescue International - Association of People United to Save (PRIAPUS), Gore said: "the plan brings together two of my favourite things, abortion and polar bears.  Now that scientists have realised there is no earthly reason to experiment on embryos for their stem cells, we need a hellish reason to support cloning.  We plan to grow lots of embryos and drop them at sites all over the Arctic to help our brother the polar bear.  Later we may need to expand the programme to include the disabled and the elderly.  It's really just an extension of the traditional innuit approach" continued the enormously fat former vice-president and loser who has managed to carve out a very lucrative and successful career playing on the fears of gullible people while stomping around the globe in his enormous carbon boots.



A spokesman for polar bears said "we'd tried to eat him but we just couldn't stomach it".

If you buy a teddy bear for a fiver and sell it on for a tenner, does that make the teddy bear a Prophet?

We welcome a new occasional correspondent, The Bald Devil, who lives in Greece and sent me that amusing question.



He followed up with the news that with tensions running high, Sooty has cancelled his tour of Jamaica.

Keep up the good work, TBD and I'll try to remember not to put your personal email in the public domain.

We always knew Muslims were homicidal maniacs, headed as they were by a child molesting egomaniacal thug (Muhammod in case you missed it).  We just never realised the extent of their lunacy.  So it's fine to call your children Muhammod, however you chose to spell it - and in fact most muslims show the limits to their imagination by calling all their boys Muhammod - but Allah help you if you call a teddy bear Muhammod.  Straight to gaol in Sudan for you.  The teddy bear apparently described the conditions as "plush".  The teacher in question said while she loved Sudan, this situation had knocked the stuffing out of her.

In case you missed it, this was the bear in question. 

By the time the sharia secret police were through with it it was reduced to this: