Smasher Lagru

The Diocese of Down and Connor was plunged once more into confusion when it was revealed that Gauleiter Walsh had conned a pious priest into accepting a demotion to Administrator on the promise that he receive a CA.  "He told me it was a new grade of Monsignor and it meant Chaplain Apostolic", said the Fr X from his sick bed.  "Turns out it meant, 'Cardiac Arrest'".

"I've had enough.  I've done my stint" continued Fr X.  "I'm ready for Bishop McKeown to take over".

A hospital spokesman said it was common for patients recovering from surgery to talk nonsense.



Gauleiter Walsh was not available for comment or any form of meaningful relationship.

There was some confusion in Down and Connor diocese, Ireland, recently when its two auxiliary bishops, Anthony Farqhar (world's longest "serving" auxiliary bishop) and Donal McKeown (in time set to become longest serving auxiliary bishop) tried to celebrate Mass in the extraordinary form.

Apparently they mininterprated references to "a return to the good old days" as meaning 1973.

A further difficulty occurred when they realised that, under Gauleiter Walsh's secret motu proprio on the Pope's motu proprio they would be unable to find a "stable" group of the faithful, certainly from the people they hang around with.

Donal Mc Keown's mother was available for comment.  But nobody want's to listen to her.

As you may have noticed I have been absent from the ether for half a year.  Couldn't remember how to login and then it came in a flash of brilliance.  The long gap has confirmed one thing.  There's no realistic chance of Donal Mc Keown becoming bishop of Down and Connor.  That really is unfortunate.  I was in Omagh a few weeks ago, buying petrol, lots and lots of petrol, and my car radio tuned automatically to Radio Ulster and there was the good bishop doing Sentiment for the Day.  He's the ecclesial equivalent of Ozzie Osborne, only with more swearing (by those who have to listen to him).



Some of his recent gems include over the past few months have included his confused ramblings on Amnesty International.  In the course of the interview he said that, as a member of the board of governors of a Catholic school he was asked what to do about an Amnesty International group within the school. He passed the issue on to Bishop Patrick Walsh and suggested the matter was only of concern to one school. He said "I approached Bishop Walsh who, in response to that particular query from that particular school, said he thought it would be inappropriate, for an Amnesty branch to be continuing in the school." He continued: "Amnesty's espousal in recent months of campaigning for abortion access in limited circumstances will leave many people in a difficult situation." When asked in the interview about the specific position Amnesty International has adopted on abortion, Bishop McKeown replied: "I am not going to go down the route of, I suppose, arguing pro and against abortion at the present time."

What a great bishop.  Live on the air, an opportunity to talk about abortion but best avoid going down that route.  Better talking about people confusion over staying or going in Amnesty.  The other classic aspect was that he spoke about the great human rights commitment of his generation - the 1968 brigade - before revealing he personally had never actually done anything or been a member of any organisation that actually did anything.

Gotta go and get some tea. More later (perhaps).